and here we are again! hello viewers! fans! whorever is there! its me again! so, lets see what happened these days!

nothing much happened to me, other than the fact that i cant feed myself anymore? well gf is helping so at least i wont die lol i will keep writing this shit up so dw dw AHAHA !! and i also saw one of my dearest friends, i havent seen them in a while so im glad i could go out w them, even for like 1 hour cuz i had to leave earlier cuz my mom forgot to mention it was her birthday party that day!!! im not good with dates, i dont even remember my own birthday most of the time. but its kinda my fault that i forgot my own mothers birthday but at the same time she knows i struggle with dates so she couldve been said that shit earlier BUT who cared it already passed .

i also got some new archievements on needy streamer overload!!! aka one of my fav games woah!! i got these two rare and the.other normal ones.and im pretty happy! i never really cared about archievements and stuff but i found out its cool to have the game 100% complete so. lets keep working man!

just need 11 more to finish that game jesus christ

and i keep getting worse, idk what to do aw man,, i keep thinking about suicide and self harm. wish i could just live a happy life

well, lets talk about something positive, hm? my mother gave me some money to buy some sweets for myself! she was never the type of mother to give the good stuff for her children. i dont feel like she never saw me as her kid, it was more like "someone that lives with me and it bothers me" other than "my child that lives with me and i love them very much". but it feels like that changed, well at least i hope so. i really wish i could feel like she loves me, ive tried everything to make her like me, but it never really worked. i hope she can see me as her child one day.

okay hm thats for today. too much sadness. thanks for reading! see you next time